Hands Off!

21 March 2019 – There are times where you just want to bellow, HANDS OFF!!, and slap the offending fingers for good measure. But you can’t, can you? Because you are Canadian, and, according to media clichés worldwide, we are too polite to go around bellowing at people.

So what-to-do, what-to-do?

Well, don’t fret. The Creekside Collaborative Garden

has come up with a whole list of suitably polite euphemisms.

The Garden is well named. It is indeed both creekside (tucked near the south-east tip of False Creek) and collaborative (planted and maintained by people in the neighbourhood).

Everything is still a little stark …

but soon plants will burst into action, and fruit tree branches will  be bare no longer.

Which is exactly when the Hands-On impulse might lead passers-by into temptation.

Which is why polite messages are already neatly tied into place.

They encourage interaction …

but with limits.

They appeal to our nurturing instincts …

they flirt with us …

and they invoke spiritual resonance.

And when all else fails …

they guilt-trip us.

In Other Other Words

In other gardens, I’ve seen a different compromise between the urge to protect and the urge to remain … umm … Canadian. Here & there, you spot a hand-lettered sign that simply says, “Please don’t steal.”

Masterful, isn’t it? That polite “Please,” followed by that blunt choice of verb.

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8 Comments

  1. Wonderful! 😊 I don’t agree with the notion that Canadians are a bunch of soft-hearted milquetoasts. We lean that way perhaps, but we can get tough when we need to. 😊

    Reply
  2. I agree that it would be un-Canadian to warn: “hands off or the only touching thing about you will be what we say at your wake.” But you cannot get much more Canadian than: “Please don’t touch. We’d be sorry to have to kill you.”

    Reply
  3. SO Canadian! You have me smiling!

    Reply
  4. Susan

     /  25 March 2019

    Hope the signs are heeded, can the birds read? Susan

    Reply

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