5 February 2022 – I do not expect an oxymoron to ambush me, right here in the aisles of retail consumerism.

Oxymoron, after all, is mental/linguistic. It is, as the Oxford Dictionary reminds us: “a phrase that combines two words that seem to be the opposite of each other, such as ‘a deafening silence’.”

Examples abound, including the much-quoted “military intelligence” — and my personal favourite, “quite unique.”

Bah. Forget all that brainy stuff. Today the oxymoron got physical.

A feisty doormat!