13 April 2020 – Turn off Netflix; leave Zoom; renounce YouTube. (Even, gasp, say good-bye to WordPress, but, there-there, only temporarily.)
Pull on your exercise clothes; lace up your shoes; meet me on Gore Street, half a block south of Union. Face north. Do a few preparatory stretches.
Ready?
JUMP.
RUN around the corner onto Union.
Now SHUFFLE until …
it’s time to HOP and then BALANCE.
WALK …
up the ante with some ZIGZAG …
and GALLOP!
SKIP for a bit …
Now SPIN WALK, taking your directional cue from the spirals, and next — but only once your head stops spinning — WIGGLE.
Gauge SOCIAL DISTANCE, measured in hearts …
take a running jump at HOP SCOTCH …
DANCE your way to LEAP FROG…
and then flash those HIGH KNEES of yours on every star.
Walk BACKWARDS (oops, trust me on this one) …
and soar into the SKI JUMP.
Finally! It’s finally time to SLITHER …
sssskillfully ssslither …
your way to two-block, 19-station, sidewalk exercise …
ssssuccess.
Now cool down, pat yourself on the back, down a celebratory whatever-you-celebrate-with, and go buy some chalk.
There has to be a two-block stretch of sidewalk near you, eager to host your very own community exercise event.