19 March 2026 – I’m not wearing my welly boots*, am I, so I can’t jump in the puddles.

But I can still play with them.

STOP!

says the first puddle.

GO!

says the second puddle.

STOP!

says the third puddle.

I go anyway, on home.

*****

* Welly Boots. Invented by Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington — or, more precisely, by his shoemaker, when asked to modify the Hessian boot of the day and turn it into something still smart, but more hard-wearing. Patriotic young bloods adopted the boot, and it’s been with us ever since — aka the gum boot, a nod to the “gum” from rubber trees originally used in the waterproof version, and, more prosaically, the plain old rainboot.

“Welly boots” entered my slang via The Great Northern Welly Boots Show, a smash hit at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival of 1972, co-written and performed by Billy (now Sir William) Connolly. I’d love to tell you I saw it there and then, but alas, no. I saw it a bit later on, when it was busy being an equally smash hit at the Young Vic in London.