15 August 2024 – Only later do I realize I have been offered a Dr. Seussian experience, right here at the corner of East 7th & Main.

It will have me chanting my rewrite of the tag line from his 1968 Foot Book: “One foot, two foot, red foot, blue foot.”

But not yet.

At the moment, as I approach Main on East 7th, all I notice is the message tacked to an aged wooden telephone pole. It catches my eye because, one, it is the only message, and, two, it looks polite & quiet & official & totally unlike everything else that bombards us from utility poles.

So I take a closer look.

I am charmed! This is surely the most polite “Post no bills” warning in the entire universe. Not just polite, but whimsical… and successful. This weary telephone pole is being allowed to rest in peace.

I am sufficiently intrigued to read the small print, and resolve to look up City of Vancouver Ordnance [sic] #17-B-9883 once I reach home. What are the official rules for postering, I wonder.

As Mr. Google points out, this very polite notice is marked by a typo, as well as by whimsy. “Ordnance” = guns, artillery & the like. Accept the suggested revised spelling, and all is well. “Ordinance” = a piece of legislation enacted by a municipal government.

Even then, missing “i” firmly in place, I still can’t find #17-B-9883 online.

But I do find a cheerful discussion of the City’s poster cylinder locations, complete with a handy map. No need to abuse wooden poles any longer! Tape your announcements to a purpose-built metal cylinder instead, with the City’s blessing.

I navigate the map, and discover there is an official poster-pole right next to the wooden pole at E7th & Main.

I zip back out in the fading light to have a look.

And there it is. The approved, yes-you-can, post-all-you-want pole, covered in notices.

“One pole, two pole,” I chant. “Don’t pole, do pole!”

I bet Dr. Seuss would approve.